How to ask without asking

I’m pretty sure we all know that it’s a big no-no to ask a woman if she’s pregnant, right?  Well, I discovered the other day that you can ask without really asking and therefore without sticking your foot in your mouth.  Here’s what happened.

I was at the grocery store with my mom when we ran into a woman we hadn’t seen in a long time.  I don’t know how long it’s been since my mom has seen her, but I’d guess I was in high school the last time I did.  Anyway, she and my mom chat for a minute– how are things, how are all the (now grown up) kids, etc.  Then she looks at me and says, “And look at you!”  She could have been referring to a million things.  I’m taller.  My hair is shorter.  I’m (obviously) older.  If I hadn’t said anything she could have easily continued with something like, “You look great!”  Instead (because I am nice) I answered the question she didn’t ask and said, “I know, this is my third!”  So we chatted about that for a minute and then we all went back to our shopping.

And there you have it.  A tactful way to find out if someone who looks pregnant actually is pregnant without asking her.

*Disclaimer: I’m sure people say “Look at you!” for many reasons other than thinking you might be pregnant.  So you know, don’t be offended if someone says that to you and you aren’t.  That’s also the beauty of it- it works for so many things.

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4 thoughts on “How to ask without asking

  1. My method when I see someone I think might be pregnant but not sure if she is or not is to ask about the children she has now (if I know she has children) and then say something along the lines of "Aren't kids great? We're toying with the idea of another. When do you plan on more?" That always leads into either, "I'm pregnant now actually or Maybe in a few years" and there is your answer without anyone getting their feelings hurt. If she says she is prego now then I always say, "OMG you look great! I can't even tell!"

  2. All of our friends (and by friends I actually mean co-workers) would say, "I heard a rumor. Is it true?" No one would actually say, "I heard YOU WERE PREGNANT. Is it true?" Of course, that only really works when rumors are already going around.

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